For someone who grew up rooted in the rolling plains of the Midwest, within a loving but imperfect Catholic family, life was a patchwork of lessons—some learned at the dinner table, others in the larger classroom of life. There was no shortage of moral guidance: the values of humility, generosity, and the importance of faith were woven into the fabric of my upbringing. Yet, as I ventured out into the vast and awe-inspiring landscapes as a geologist, uncovering the story of the Earth one rock layer at a time, I found myself searching for something deeper—something my career, achievements, and religious background could not fully satisfy.
This is the story of how I, a self-described “drunk,” found harmony between the structured spirituality of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and the profound teachings of the Baha’i Faith, discovering a God I could understand and a path to genuine transformation.
The Scientist’s Dilemma: Achievements Without Fulfillment
As a geologist, my career has been nothing short of fulfilling in many ways. I’ve stood on mountaintops that took eons to form, unraveled the mysteries of ancient mineral deposits, and contributed to the very foundations of modern industry. I’ve achieved milestones that made me proud—not just professionally, but as a scientist who values evidence-based understanding and logical reasoning.
Still, no accolades, no breakthrough discoveries, and no depth of knowledge could fill the deeper void that had taken hold of me. My battle with addiction revealed this truth in stark, often painful clarity. Alcohol became both a numbing agent and an illusion of control, as I struggled with the dissonance between external accomplishments and internal peace. Despite all my intellectual pursuits, my spirit was starved for something more.
A God of My Understanding: Finding Space for Faith in AA
One of the most transformative aspects of AA is its gentle but firm insistence on finding a “God of your own understanding.” For someone like me—a recovering alcoholic who once grappled with the contradictions between science and spirituality—this concept was a lifeline. It offered a space where the Divine could be personal, accessible, and uniquely mine, free of dogma or rigid interpretation. Through AA, I began to see God not as a remote judge but as a compassionate force, present in my moments of vulnerability and triumph alike.
The 12 Steps of AA were not just tools for sobriety; they were a framework for reexamining my life, reconciling my past, and moving forward with intention. Step 3, in particular—”Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him”—allowed me to let go of the illusion of control that had plagued me for years. In surrendering, I found empowerment, clarity, and hope.
The Revelation of Baha’u’llah: A New Lens for Life
It was during this journey of self-recovery and exploration that I re-encountered the Baha’i Faith. I had been introduced years ago at university, but I wasn’t done drinking back then. At first, I approached it with the cautious curiosity of a scientist examining a new theory. But as I delved deeper into the writings of Baha’u’llah, the Prophet-Founder of the Faith, I was struck by their clarity, universality, and profound relevance to both individual and collective transformation.
Baha’u’llah’s teachings on the unity of humanity, the harmony of science and religion, and the importance of justice resonated deeply with me. Here was a faith that didn’t ask me to abandon my scientific mind or my hard-won understanding of the world—it invited me to integrate them. The Baha’i Faith provided a framework for understanding my place in the vast story of existence, not just as an individual but as part of a global community striving toward unity and progress.
The joy and clarity I found in Baha’u’llah’s revelation were unlike anything I had experienced before. It was as though the fragmented pieces of my life—my Catholic upbringing, my struggles with addiction, my love for the natural world, and my yearning for purpose—were being woven into a cohesive whole. The Baha’i Faith didn’t just complement the spiritual foundation I was building through AA; it amplified it.
The Synergy of AA and the Baha’i Faith: A Path Forward
The intersection of AA and the Baha’i Faith has been a profound source of healing and growth for me. Both emphasize personal accountability, community, and the transformative power of surrendering to a higher power. Both challenge me to be honest with myself, to strive for progress rather than perfection, and to seek meaning beyond the confines of material success.
Where AA provides the practical tools for day-to-day sobriety and reflection, the Baha’i Faith offers a broader vision—a roadmap for contributing to the betterment of humanity while deepening my connection to the Divine. Together, they form a synergy that has not only helped me maintain sobriety but also inspired me to live a life of purpose, service, and continual growth.
Reflections on a Life Reclaimed
Looking back, I am deeply grateful for the many influences that have shaped my path. My Catholic upbringing instilled in me a moral compass and an appreciation for faith, even if it took years for me to find a spiritual home that felt truly mine. My career as a geologist has taught me the value of inquiry, perseverance, and respect for the natural world. And my journey through addiction and recovery has shown me the depths of human resilience and the power of grace.
Today, I stand at a crossroads where faith and reason, science and spirituality, sobriety and purpose all converge. It’s a journey I could never have imagined for myself, but one that feels undeniably right. To anyone walking a similar path—struggling to reconcile the complexities of identity, belief, and purpose—know that there is space for all of it. There is room to be a scientist and a seeker, a skeptic and a believer, a work in progress and a person of profound worth.
The synergy of AA and the Baha’i Faith has not only saved my life—it has helped me truly live it. And for that, I am forever grateful.
the musing geologist 